Somebody Shouted "Macintyre"!

Derailment Spills 20, 000 Gallons of Beer

Investigating officers said the leak did not contaminate any nearby water sources

Contaminate? I'm sure residents feel so relieved by that news!
UPDATE: It just occured to me that this was probably commercial American beer, which is notoriously like making love in a canoe, so no real harm was done. (gdrc)