This just in...

As of yet unconfirmed reports indicate that the Insurgents’ abduction of private-first class GI Joe has backfired. Less than 72 hours after photos of the captured soldier were made public, an ultra-nationalist militant wing of the animated actors guild have captured Osama Bin Laden and Ayman al-Zawahri.



Sources familiar with the situation say that the two terrorist masterminds are being held in an undisclosed location near the Syrian border. Although the militant platic figures have made no public statements since the alleged capture, major-general Buzz Lightyear is rumored to have established contact with Al Quada representatives to negotiate a prisoner exchange.

The capture of Bin Laden and al-Zawahri comes on the heels on the successful election voting and is seen by analysts as a significant setback to the militant Islamists’ hopes of derailing a democratic Iraq. A spokesperson for the Marine Corp’s Toys for Tots program fears this incident will only serve to escalate the growing cycle of violence between Islamic terrorists and children’s toys.

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