...and a partridge in a pear tree

Xrlq explains the state action doctrine, for the constitutionally illiterate:

By that reasoning, I want my employer to buy me a printing press, a gun, a soldier-free house, a guarantee no cop will ever intrude in it without probable cause, just compensation for the last house of mine that was condemned, a free attorney if I am ever charged criminally, another attorney if I am ever sued civilly, indemnity for any unreasonably high fines I've ever been required to pay, other rights not mentioned here, and an assurance that Congress won't regulate in any area other than as explicitly provided for in the Constitution.

I looked myself up on the dictionary and they marked me as stupid

Liberal celebrities (excuse the redundancy) and many other breads of lovable Democrats adore the following age-old wisecrack:

If you look up Republican in the dictionary, it's just after reptile and just before repugnant.

Whowohhahahznauzha (Knee-slapping)!!

One of the last celebs to dust of this classic in public is Julia Roberts. To play William Safire for a sec, one might explain to Julia that words get their meanings from their own definition, not the surrounding words. But then her eyes would glaze over and smoke would come out of her ears as her brain ground to a halt like a '84 Yugo attempting to traverse a small incline.

But at the risk of stooping to her level, let's dust of the ole Websters and look up Democrat. It is immediately preceded by Demobilize v. - to discharge from military service and followed by Démodé a French word meaning no longer fashionable : out-of-date. That would be actual irony, which is something that Julia can have her publicist explain to her.

Love this one...

Thanks Sean Delonas
In case the captions are too small to read: the tall Iraqi's nametag reads 'Baghdad Bob', the crying boy is saying 'Wolf, wolf' and the guy inline behind Michael Moore is Jayson Blair.

This doesn't sound good

Breaking News: Venezuela's regime raids Jewish school
London 29.11.04 | Sources report that this morning at around 6.30AM, 25 police officers raided in Caracas the Jewish school known as Colegio Hebraica. Students were meant to start classes at 7AM. Due to the 'procedure' that still goes on, classes have been suspended. The school is attended by 1.500 youngsters and children.

Criminal-turned-judge Maikel Moreno gave the order to raid the premises. Daniel Sinmack, president of the Jewish community in Caracas, just declared that this is the first time ever that such incident occurs.

Allegedly the State television network, Venezolana de Television, has been reporting for days now that the Mossad is behind the assassination of prosecutor Danilo Anderson.

(via Jonah Goldberg @ The Corner)

Two days left...

...to the return of Day By Day.
UPDATE: I can't count.
FURTHER UPDATE: OK, now it's two days.

Bring Back Bribery

Here's another opinion I've held for many many years, but rarely had a chance to talk about: the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, 1977 is one of the dumbest and most damaging ideas to come out of the particularly dumb and damaging Congress that sat in the late '70s. Here, courtesy of the Diplomad, is a perfect example why:

The Diplomad recalls lobbying the President of a small country to buy Boeing aircraft for the national airline; with Boeing reps we reviewed in detail the superior price and performance of the Boeing over the Airbus product. The President and the local airline representatives agreed with us that the Boeing was the better plane at a better price. So, as you would expect, Airbus got the deal. The French had bought the President a house in southern France.

In much of the world, bribery is the way business is done. If you want to do business there, you have to pay the baksheesh, or you don't get the contract. And everyone else in the game is playing by the rules, but since 1977 US companies have been unable to do so, for fear of getting caught and being prosecuted here in the USA. So naturally the business has been going elsewhere.

I have long believed that accepting a bribe should be illegal, but paying one should not be. Not only does the payer of a bribe often have little choice in the matter, in most cases he has no duty of care to the victims (generally the bribe-taker's employers, or taxpayers if he is an official). But whether paying bribes in the USA should be illegal or not, it's not for the USA to enforce other countries' anti-bribery laws (if they even exist), especially when the countries in question aren't complaining. And doing so to the detriment of the USA's own citizens, with no benefit at all to the USA, is just perverse.

First, kill the subbies

One of my pet peeves, that my friends have undoubtedly got sick of hearing me go on about, is the incompetence of that parasite on journalism - the subeditor. That's the person who writes the headlines on other people's stories; my problem is that occasionally the headline shows that the subbie has not actually bothered to read the story first.

This phenomenon first came to my attention about 25 years ago, on the occasion of an Arab terrorist attack on a kibbutz nursery in northern Israel. Two Arabs infiltrated the nursery and killed 5 babies; the army ended up storming the building and killing both terrorists. The Melbourne Age headline? Seven Dead in Israeli Raid. Since then I've kept my eyes open for this sort of thing, and it happens with distressing frequency.

Take this story from today's Age: Folbigg needs four trials: court, shouts the headline. Intrigued, I read the story, which is about a woman's appeal of her conviction and sentence for four murders. Turns out, though, that it was not the court that said she should have four trials, it was her lawyer. The basis of her appeal is that it was unfair to try her once for all four incidents, and she should have been able to defend each charge separately; if that had been done, her lawyer claims, she might have been acquitted on some, or perhaps even all of them.

This doesn't sound like a totally outrageous argument (though the Crown Prosecutor made some reasonable-sounding objections to it). Perhaps the court will ultimately agree with it.[1] But it hasn't done so yet. As the story concludes, ‘the court has reserved its judgment’. To put in the court's mouth an argument made to it by one of the parties shows a complete lack of comprehension, a symptom either of illiteracy or of a casual attitude to journalism.

Here's a radical idea: why not allow journos to write the headlines for their own stories?

---

1. I certainly think that allowing the prosecution to introduce expert evidence that amounts to ‘I've never heard of such a thing happening, therefore it couldn't have happened in this case’ is dangerous; that way lies the Chamberlain trial, and the irresponsible way the forensic evidence was presented in it. (Yes, I'm one of those who always thought Lindy was innocent.)

Quote of the day:

"If the state were a parent they would have their child taken away from them"

Helen Shardey (my parents' local MLC), quoted in this story in the Age.
And put where, exactly? Exactly.

More ‘Sky Prawns’

One of the commenters on my previous post on this subject reported that the Rabbi of Elat had determined that the locust swarm that hit Elat this week was not of the kosher species. I have now received first hand testimony that this is not the case. R Ari Zivotofsky reports on the Avodah mailing list that

there is NO question that this is the species for which there is a mesorah [tradition]. I know many who have checked, and I too, though less expert, also checked.

But marketing them as ‘sky prawns’ still seems rather counterproductive in the Israeli market...

No Blood For Cocoa

Because the French Republic has such a deep and abiding commitment to Peace and Justice and International Law and is against Unilateralism and Cowboyism and Adventurism. But France has the United Nations on its side, so it must be in the right. And in any case, it's all the Jews' fault.

Free Will has a roundup.

Sky Prawns?

Tim Blair suggests that the swarm of locusts that has hit Israel can be made more popular by rebranding them as 'delicious Sky Prawns'.
Small problem with using this marketing technique in Israel: prawns aren't kosher. Locusts, on the other hand, are - or at least one species of locust is; I don't know whether the current swarm is of the kosher species.
Kosher locusts can be recognised by the Hebrew letter 'chet' on their undersides. Really. I've seen them. (Yes, they come with their own hechsher.) Roast them in an oven, then pull the legs off and eat like popcorn.

Ron Artest: What I Would Have Done Differently

If you haven't heard about this by now, please get a satellite dish for the cave you're living in. The NBA suspended the players involved "indefinitely", which is fancy way of coming down hard until public opinion can be gauged, then determining the actual length of the suspensions. The NBA is right to suspend the players, they cannot condone this type of violence. But if some jerk marched into my workplace, called me every pejorative term in the book and threw water in my face, the only thing that I would do differently that Ron Artest - is hit the sonofabitch harder! Note: my employer would discipline me (probably fire me) and they'd also be right to do so. In both cases, the proper action is walking away and letting the proper authorities deal with the perpetrator. But that does not absolve the heckler of responsibility for his actions and certainly does not absolve them from blame when a fight breaks out that they instigated.

Let's be clear, the fight between the players was effectively over. Who then is responsible for the second, separate fight between the players and the fans? The hooligans in the stands who involved themselves by throwing objects and later coming on to the floor. No question (unless you're a hypocritical talking head on TV).

The heckler has always been protected by an invisible barrier: "the stands". Every player knows that no matter what happens, they must turn the other cheek and walk away, lest something like Friday night happen. This sense of safety (and a healthy dose of the hooch) enables uncivilized behavior by these insecure cowards. Also acting as an enabler: the deteriorating levels of fan self-policing and lack of scrutiny from security personal. Today, these chicken-shits rarely get ejected and almost never have their season tickets revoked. Only in the most extreme circumstances do unruly fans even get punished.

Perhaps this melee (already being cited as the worse domestic incident of fan-player violence) will bring attention to how unsportsmanlike American fans have become, and steps will be taken to curtail this behavior. Hooliganism had been a problem in the UK for decades, but it took the Heysel tragedy until serious measures were undertaken to prevent future incidents. Today known Hooligans must surrender their passports and report to police stations when the Three Lions play. Not a bad idea. At minimum, these punks should be arrested, punished to the full extent of the law, and never allowed in another stadium ever again. As a real fan, I'd say good riddance.
UPDATE(Kodos): ESPN (through Volokh) suggests fans lose their season tickets, and another good idea.

Music haters

Australian lefty celebrity Alison Broinowski wrote this hit piece on Condoleeza Rice. Commenters at Tim Blair's blog point out a hitherto unnoticed aspect of Bushophobia.

The Fighting French

If you thought the French were too cowardly to send troops to Iraq, prepare to stand corrected. If you thought they had turned into principled pacifists, refusing to sully their hands with war (yeah, right), I've got some news for you. If you thought they were sticklers for international law (again, yeah, right), and therefore won't take part in a war not sanctioned by the holy UN, think again. Consult the Diplomad and be enlightened.

Counting over (for now) in Washington

Yay! About 20 minutes ago, the last vote was counted in Washington's governor's race, and the final, official result is...
ROSSI BY 261!
Yay!
Of course, there will now have to be a recount, since the margin is so small, but the odds are certainly with Rossi now.

Too Funny...

Thanks Bloghead

Bush Pardons Two Thanksgiving Turkeys

But were either of them plastic?

That's Harav Nkosithani

Swazi aristocrat becomes Orthodox rabbi

When Nkosinathi Gamedze walked into the Hebrew department at Wits University and said he wanted to study the language he was greeted with stunned silence. This week, 16 years later, he addressed members of the Jewish community in Johannesburg in a mixture of Hebrew and English - as Rabbi Natan Gamedze.

Read the rest

"Thank God for paper ballots"

Washington is not the only governor's race that is still undecided. The NYT reports on the situation in Puerto Rico, where one candidate won by 3 880 votes, and a slow recount will be needed, that may extend into next year. There are the usual allegations of fraud, and at the very end of the article is a comment by the challenger that at least the ballots are all on good old fashioned paper, easily verified and relatively difficult to tamper with without being detected.

Mr. Acevedo Vilá said he was wary of electronic voting and that the current system engendered trust. "It is foolproof against fraud because you have the evidence right there," he said. "Thank God for paper ballots."

Note that Anibal Acevedo Vilá is the guy who lost the original count, and thanks to the paper ballots the recount that might reverse the result and put him in office might not be finished before his opponent is sworn in. Nevertheless, he sees the great advantage of this voting technology, and wouldn't want to change it.

As a certain pundit would say, Indeed.

ABC Surprised by Viewer Reaction

Naked, desperate housewife throwing herself at an egomaniacal professional athlete as the primetime lead-in to Monday Night Football. What's the problem America? Next you'll object to the gang-bang between the cast from Lost and the Kansas City offensive line that ABC has planned for next week's intro.

ABC, obviously still green with envy of CBS and their nipple-gate during the Superbowl, had a collective synapse malfunction, but has now apologized. Looking at ABC's pathetic ratings, it's easy to understand why they don't have a clue how to properly capitalize on the success of a hit show. But here's a tip: when the hit show is about slutty housewives fornicating with every warm body in the neighborhood, it might not be a natural tie-in to a show that's been marketed to the "whole family" for over three decades.

Moreover, this brand of crap-ola is what the "values" voters object to from the liberal media companies and Hollywood. Again, "values" is not a code word for abortion or gay marriage. It's not a synonym for the evangelical right's most extreme positions. It's not a issue that Carville can "wedge" or "neutralize" with spot-polling. But multicultural, relative-moralist liberals are too busy equivocating the terrorist's (p.c. correction: freedom fighter's) beheadings of aid workers to the American military's collateral damage. So it's a convenient timesaver to rely on tired cliches and stereotypes to explain away the values gap between the Red states and the Blue states.

More Help Understanding Cricket

Many speculate that Cricket was invented not for sport nor entertainment, but colonial supression. Disent and revolution require time for planning, which is a scarce commodity when the war-age males are bashing a cricket ball and running around like chickens in an overused metaphor for days at time. Not suprisingly, soon after the Americans changed the rules of the game and reduced it's duration by 98%, we were dumping tea in the habour and shooting red coats.

Cricket explained, sort of

For Yanks who are completely baffled by cricket, I've posted a quick and very simplified explanation of some of the main differences between cricket and baseball at Tim Blair's site.

Say what?

Kathryn Lopez over at the Corner notes this exercise in logic:

---

NO COMMENT [KJL]
From a Piece on RU-486 on a Feminist Website:

Dr. Vanessa Cullins, vice president of medical affairs for the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, said Holly's death is a tragedy but that medical abortion is safe.

"Death is such a rare event associated with medical abortion that it's startling," Cullins said. "But this is a way for the anti-choice extremists to push the agenda of banning all abortions."

[Emphasis, obviously, mine.] (Article here.)

---

I can't think of anything to say about this either.

Is there something in the water at NBC news?

Desperate to catch-up with CBS and ABC, NBC is tossing away it's credibility in bucket loads. CBS News, whom many media experts and blogging pundits consider to be the leader in the race towards self-immolation, leveraged it's flag-ship "fake news" program 60 minutes with it's highly editorialized nightly news to jump out to a commanding lead. With a potent one-two punch of forged national guard memos and an attempted election-eve hit piece on several tons of not-so missing explosives, it's hard for anyone with political leadings to the right of Joseph Stalin to miss the blatant partisanship of CBS News. Despite these considerable efforts, many CBS defenders still insist the above examples merely constitute honest mistakes that happen from time to time in the noble process of exposing the Hitler of our era - Dubya.

Enter Peter Jennings and ABC News, who collectively balk at the notion of playing second fiddle to Dan Rather & co, especially when it comes to selling journalistic integrity for cents on the dollar to smear a right-wing warmonger President. Fearing that any "news" story, no matter how overtly-biased, can be construed as legitimate, ABC took a different tact: the internal memo leak (linked here for nostalgia). Mark Halperin, political director at ABC News, explicitly directs his staff to hold Bush more accountable for his attacks and distortions than Kerry. This brilliant gambit paid off with a massive embarrassment and a spot on the podium next to CBS and across from the New York Times...

Wait! Hold on a minute! Before we pass out any medals: NBC News, initially caught off guard by their rivals, has rallied strong after the election. Amazing, simply amazing. First, they lured the competition into complacency by calling Ohio for Bush on election night (Even Krugman took a vacation). Next they unleashed a flurry of masochistic attacks on their own honestly and reliability. Leading off: Keith Olbermann and his musing that Florida Dixie-crats voting for a Republican President (like they've done for the last 100 years) is highly unusual and may indicate systematic fraud. Batting second: Lawrence O'Donnell's rant on McLaughlin, which proposed that the Blue states secede from the 'welfare [Red] states'. Want more? How about anything posted to Eric Alterman's Blog at MSNBC.com or Chris Matthews fair and balanced panels of 3 socialists with a side of center-right Joe Scarbourgh. But that was only the first wave. Now comes Emmy-award winning John Hockenberry's childish mudslinging email to an Army Captain/Blogger who is fighting in Iraq as we speak. This is hilarious! First check out the history of the conflict. The part regarding Hockenberry is in the second half of the post. Next up, check out John's half-hearted apology:

Opps, I'm sorry that I revealed myself as a Bush-hating, anti-war protestor masquerading as a legitimate journalist. Doh!

At this pace and by fully utilizing all of it's media outlets, NBC could pass CBS on the road to implosion by Christmas. More as this race heats up!

UPDATE (Kang): All this effort is already earning NBC recognition. According to Laura Ingraham's radio show, Tom Brokaw was in the heart of the Christian Conservative confederacy (Lincoln, Nebraska) to do a story on congressman Tom Osburn. Brokaw took in bizarre local ritual which is rabidly followed by the rednecks of Jesusland, and is even popular in the less-progressive portions of the United States of Canada: University Football. When shown on the jumbo-tron, he was loudly taunted and boo'd. This represents a landmark accomplishment for NBC in their ratings-slaughtering effort to convince 52% of the country that they are stupid, ignorant boozos.

Somebody Shouted "Macintyre"!

Derailment Spills 20, 000 Gallons of Beer

Investigating officers said the leak did not contaminate any nearby water sources

Contaminate? I'm sure residents feel so relieved by that news!
UPDATE: It just occured to me that this was probably commercial American beer, which is notoriously like making love in a canoe, so no real harm was done. (gdrc)

Dog-Without-A-Master goes away

Abd-el-Rahman Husseini, Rot In Hell.
When the wicked are lost, there is song (Proverbs 11:10)
UPDATE: Tex has such a way with words. So do the good folk at Silent Running.

Cui Bono

This sounds about par for the course. Think they wouldn't do that? Remember Mohammed al Dura.

At least this bombing seems actually to have happened. In the USA, many reports of anti-Moslem violence have turned out to be not quite all that they seemed.

The Unluckiest Man in the World

Now That's a neat trick...

Out-of-touch Liberial Test

Seriously, if you voted for Kerry (or hate Bush) and are wondering today if you are out of touch with the majority of Americans, take the following simple test:
1) Go down to the 'How did Otto Vote?' post and follow the second link to John Perry Barlow's Magnanimous Defeat (or just click here).
2) Think about what was said. Do you agree with most of it? A little bit? Very little? None?
3) For answer to are you an out of touch liberal, return to the same post and read Dean's response to Barlow (or click here).
Note: If you become so angry that you cannot finish Dean's column, good luck on your relocation to Canada. Here is an orientation guide from the Toronto Globe and Mail's Margaret Wente.

America: Love it or leave it (Literally?)

Like Kodos, I'm not optimistic that the Democrats will reinvent their party. The Hollywood activists, out-of-touch Eastern intelligentsia, and America-hating college professors have a stranglehold on the party, even as they run it into the ground. Perhaps if the rank and file Bush-hating Moore-ons all leave for Canada, the moderate Democrats could stage a bloodless coup and produce a viable opposition party.

In the mean time, I don't want Bush to make nice with Leahy, Kennedy, Schumer and god-forbid Hilary. If Democrats wake-up to the post-9/11 world, then we can talk. Otherwise, I heed Stephen Colbert's election night call to partisanship:

Tomorrow morning, regardless of who wins, we'll have the opportunity to come together as a nation. This is an opportunity we must reject.

Look at the facts: After decades of apathy, this election marks the highest voter turnout since 1968, when we were also divided. Our only mistake back then was quelling those street riots. So to those who call for civilized discourse I say: "Shut your ugly cakehole, fatty!"

It's too late to turn back. Ours is now an anger-based economy. I look forward to a glorious tomorrow, when hybrid vehicles run half on gasoline, half on seething hate. Remember, a house divided against itself is what we here in New York call - a duplex.

UK Newspapers Trash Bush

According to Drudge, the Daily Mirror pontificates "How can 59,054,087 people be so dumb?" over which they have a picture of President Bush. Note: Drudge has taken the picture down, so it is shown on the right.

It is possible that the Mirror is calculating the number of eligible voters that did not cast a ballot for a presidential candidate (in which case their figures are a little low). These are the really dumb people. But more likely they are questioning the intelligence of every single Bush voter. It is in that spirit, that we at Neo Warmonger submit the following:

More Gloating

YEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAA! A must read by John Derbyshire.